This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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