i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize