I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize