Your mouth is God's brothel.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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