I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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