I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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