Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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