I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize