I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
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I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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