dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize