i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize