I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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