on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
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My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
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I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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