I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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