toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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