Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize