I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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