He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize