After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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