I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize