my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize