god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize