miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize