i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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