The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize