a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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