i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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