Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
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I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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