I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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