She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
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when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
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I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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