Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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