you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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