do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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