So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize