I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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