im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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