he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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