Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize