So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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