this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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