i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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