I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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