did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
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Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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