AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Success! We fucked roommates!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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