I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize