yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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