it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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