i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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