So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize