i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm having to shit out rocks
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