How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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