i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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